Everyone Cam

Bifidus Regularis

I never realized how big of a problem this is, but it appears that America is one constipated country. How else can you explain all the recent tv commercials and other media advertisements for products that guarantee they will help all of us poop again?

For example, Mrs. Haywood and I were watching tv the other night and every break was an Activia commercial starring Jamie Lee Curtis (editor's note: Jamie...you know your career is in "the crapper" when you have to support yourself by doing yogurt commercials where they have you sitting on a couch giving advice to someone who is having trouble poopin).

Anyhow...I guess this new Activia yogurt contains a miracle ingredient made up of bacteria cultures called "bifidus regularis". hehehehe...that's right...bifidus regularis. I guess this stuff will correct whatever it is causing the problem impacting your quality of life...not to mention your colon.

I'm weighing in on this because I think the folks at Activia are trying to pull a fast one here by giving a fancy name to some ingredient you can probably get in any over-the-counter laxative. If they were creative, and really wanted to increase sales of their yogurt, they should have named their miracle ingredient "poopus onschedulemyass"...that would have gotten everyone's attention.

If you are feeling a little "stifled," then I have a couple of quicker, cheaper and much more effective options for you...

Try eating an Egg McMuffin, or a bag of Baked Flamin Hot Cheetos (only 1/2 the fat), or head on over to your favorite mexican restaurant and order the "Lava FLow Combo Platter". You're in luck if it's college football season...just watch a University of Michigan game.

Here's something that never fails...dinner at my Grandmother's house on Tuesdays. That's stuffed cabbage night. Thank God the ride back to my house is a short one.

Posted by haywood at September 2, 2009 11:02 AM